Unreal conversation

had an msn conversation with my friend today which left me in stitches. the funniest part about it? he was dead serious.
(names have been changed to protect identity)

H:hey bro.. my frend lookin for tai tai.. any lobang..
me: HUH?
H: basket u in modeling industry wat.. got lobang..
me: i'm confused bro
me: your friend is a guy?
H: yar...
me: and he's looking for a sugar mummy?
H: yar.. u got it
me: hahahahhahhaahhahahha fuck off la. don't be farnie can?
H: fark lar.. got anot?
H: u sure hav..
me: of course not la!
me: basket
me: everyone also wants a sugar mummy
me: i also want - best is if can find a 90 year old one, no sex drive, about to die but fucking rich
H: i heard tat there are few pubs.. ard wif tis kinda pple rite? any idea?
me: you have any photo of your friend, out of curiosity?
H: yar..
me: lai lai. kan yi kan. send it over. i pass professional judgement.

(after looking at the picture)

me: bro, no offence, but you're fucking joking right?

talk about a surreal conversation