Buh Bye 2005
So Santa Claus DID give me a thunderstorm, but frankly, it came a bit too early. Was kinda hoping that the rain would seriously dampen everyone's ardour that night. However it didn't.
Hey, here's a bit of trivia for you - didja know that the largest percentage of girls lose their virginity on Christmas Day? (To be precise, its the wee hours of Christmas Day, after the Christmas Eve Countdown parties.) Did you guys know that? I most certainly didn't. I would have thought that it would be Valentine's Day or something, but nope - its Christmas. I don't think Catholics have the energy to procreate AFTER midnight mass (that thing is PAINFUL! all that kneeling and standing and kneeling and standing.... a word of advice to those who intend to go for midnight mass next year - THERE IS NO DRESS CODE. there is no official rule that states that you have to go there in a nicely pressed shirt tucked into a nice pair of pants with your hair neatly combed. Just go in a comfy t shirt and berms. Why? Because after all that kneeling and standing, your shirt comes out anyway and your pants start to get dirty and crumpled. As for the hair, after all that, you just wanna tear it all out, strand by strand. So why waste the effort combing in the first place?) Anyway, back to the sex. Since the Catholics are too tired and their knees too weak after midnight mass to fuck, then I can only assume that its the drunken girls who get stuffed in their moment of weakness. Which brings me back to Xmas Eve 2005. We drove by M.S on our way to supper (where Keith swears he saw a lesbian couple making out in the back alley. kinky) and I saw loads of girls passed out along the road, lying in their vomits and looking utterly.... sexy i guess. Wonder how many of them got stuffed that night?
I didn't go for midnight mass this year anyway. I went for Christmas Day Service at OLPS over at Siglap. Not because I was suddenly devout, but because I prayed to God just before a particularly difficult paper and promised Him that if i passed it, i would go back to church. Nice church, nice people who drive nice cars go there. I sat in the lap of luxury all day as the Chans gave me the chance to see how the rich celebrate Christmas. Travelled to and fro all day in a MINI COOPER CABRIOLET - with the top down no less. Went to church in it, went out for dinner in it and went for drinks in it. Amazing. Its funny how when you're sitting in a nice car, even the music that comes from the radio seems so much cooler. Or that could just be due to the speakers on the doors.
I still remember what Jan's mum said to me over dinner (at Laguna country club).
"You like the Mini Cabrio?"
"uh huh. very nice."
"Then you must study hard so that you can get a good job and afford one."
orgh.
So. Its gonna be 2006 in a couple of days. This is the period when people come up with their list of new year resolutions and i look forward to reading yours. So hey, to all my friends, you guys better make a list no matter how silly and then put it up so that I can be impressed with your lives and how organized you guys really are.
Here's mine:
My very proud 2006 resolutions!
1) For fuck's sake, GRADUATE.
2) For fuck's sake, FINISH LEARNING BLOODY JAP. its embarrassing when your relatives can speak jap and you can't.
3) For fuck's sake, FINISH THE BLOODY DRIVING LESSONS. (I just realised that my last lesson was waaaaay back in March last year. I somehow stopped.)
4) Be proudly debt free by Dec.
5) Move out by next year and stop living with my parents.
6) Earn my first $10000. I know i've earned more than that over the years of working. But i've never actually SEEN 5 digits in my savings account before. Would be a major thrill. Then I can go down to the bank, withdraw all my money in 5 cent coins and then go home, swim in a pool of 200000 5 cent coins. What a thrill.
Have a happy new year people.
xoxo
kenn
Hey, here's a bit of trivia for you - didja know that the largest percentage of girls lose their virginity on Christmas Day? (To be precise, its the wee hours of Christmas Day, after the Christmas Eve Countdown parties.) Did you guys know that? I most certainly didn't. I would have thought that it would be Valentine's Day or something, but nope - its Christmas. I don't think Catholics have the energy to procreate AFTER midnight mass (that thing is PAINFUL! all that kneeling and standing and kneeling and standing.... a word of advice to those who intend to go for midnight mass next year - THERE IS NO DRESS CODE. there is no official rule that states that you have to go there in a nicely pressed shirt tucked into a nice pair of pants with your hair neatly combed. Just go in a comfy t shirt and berms. Why? Because after all that kneeling and standing, your shirt comes out anyway and your pants start to get dirty and crumpled. As for the hair, after all that, you just wanna tear it all out, strand by strand. So why waste the effort combing in the first place?) Anyway, back to the sex. Since the Catholics are too tired and their knees too weak after midnight mass to fuck, then I can only assume that its the drunken girls who get stuffed in their moment of weakness. Which brings me back to Xmas Eve 2005. We drove by M.S on our way to supper (where Keith swears he saw a lesbian couple making out in the back alley. kinky) and I saw loads of girls passed out along the road, lying in their vomits and looking utterly.... sexy i guess. Wonder how many of them got stuffed that night?
I didn't go for midnight mass this year anyway. I went for Christmas Day Service at OLPS over at Siglap. Not because I was suddenly devout, but because I prayed to God just before a particularly difficult paper and promised Him that if i passed it, i would go back to church. Nice church, nice people who drive nice cars go there. I sat in the lap of luxury all day as the Chans gave me the chance to see how the rich celebrate Christmas. Travelled to and fro all day in a MINI COOPER CABRIOLET - with the top down no less. Went to church in it, went out for dinner in it and went for drinks in it. Amazing. Its funny how when you're sitting in a nice car, even the music that comes from the radio seems so much cooler. Or that could just be due to the speakers on the doors.
I still remember what Jan's mum said to me over dinner (at Laguna country club).
"You like the Mini Cabrio?"
"uh huh. very nice."
"Then you must study hard so that you can get a good job and afford one."
orgh.
So. Its gonna be 2006 in a couple of days. This is the period when people come up with their list of new year resolutions and i look forward to reading yours. So hey, to all my friends, you guys better make a list no matter how silly and then put it up so that I can be impressed with your lives and how organized you guys really are.
Here's mine:
My very proud 2006 resolutions!
1) For fuck's sake, GRADUATE.
2) For fuck's sake, FINISH LEARNING BLOODY JAP. its embarrassing when your relatives can speak jap and you can't.
3) For fuck's sake, FINISH THE BLOODY DRIVING LESSONS. (I just realised that my last lesson was waaaaay back in March last year. I somehow stopped.)
4) Be proudly debt free by Dec.
5) Move out by next year and stop living with my parents.
6) Earn my first $10000. I know i've earned more than that over the years of working. But i've never actually SEEN 5 digits in my savings account before. Would be a major thrill. Then I can go down to the bank, withdraw all my money in 5 cent coins and then go home, swim in a pool of 200000 5 cent coins. What a thrill.
Have a happy new year people.
xoxo
kenn
posted by tygrr at 2:19 PM
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