Life's been pretty good thus far. Not good in that 'strike TOTO and win a million dollars' kinda way. More like the kind of good where a stretch of time goes by and suddenly, you realise that you don't have much to whine about. That kind of good.
Business has been pretty acceptable - nothing spectacular but nothing worth pulling out my hair over (WHICH i'm thankful is still a headful. You know you're getting old when you look at your friends and realise that some of them are showing premature signs of male pattern baldness. Fuck.)
Watched TV that day and to my absolute horror, a local football analysis company had managed to get Steve McClaren to be their in-house tipster. Fucking hell. (A bit of background first - Before I even started LG, I had a football analysis company which told people what to bet on via email. I still maintain that the company was my most profitable of all time.) I personally won't be using their services, but it irritates the hell out of me. Because on Saturday I was talking to my friend and wondering if I should get back into this line just for the World Cup in spite of the ridiculous market saturation and she was like, "You need to have 'experts' working with you. Why would people pay money for tips from you?"
Trust me, they did. A lot of money, no less.
I mean, I remembered replying that its almost impossible to get a so-called 'expert' in because its impossible to swing it. How the hell am I supposed to get a football celebrity on board? Then THAT VERY NIGHT ITSELF, I was watching tv and steve fucking mcclaren's ugly face popped up on screen, telling me that he would be providing tips directly from germany.
cheebye.
How the hell did the company manage to get him on board? bloody brilliant.
I still stubbornly maintain that Stevie boy isn't the best man to go to when you need tips. I mean, when you need advice on the best housing loan in town, you go to a banker. Not a carpenter. And if you think about it, that's a pretty analogy of what Steve is, considering that he's the next England manager. And so what if he's in the thick of the action? What 'inside' information can he provide me with that I wouldn't already know? Injuries? Team news? I've got the internet my dear. I would rather get the 'inside' information of the syndicates to find out which matches are rigged (if any). And so what if he's the England manager? That's probably the only team which he has any direct knowledge of which we wouldn't, and let's face it - he's probably going to be biased towards the English. I'm a Newcastle fan and if you ask me, I think we can beat any team. Would you then trust my judgement when it comes to Newcastle matches? Thought not.
So my friends, in case you were tempted to sign up for that service to get Steve McClaren's tips, don't bother. Ask me instead. I charge merely a pint of beer for my services - a heck of a lot cheaper ain't it?