Day 1

Day 1 of diet, that is.

Had only one meal the whole day (dinner) - although strangly enough, I seem to smoke more when i eat less. Is there some weird cosmic inverse proportion at work here?

*ponders*

Guess not - i'm just looking for an excuse to kill myself faster.

Speaking of killing myself faster, after dinner, Keith smsed me, asking if i wanted to play football. so in my poor simple brain, i did the complex math equations - Football = Running like a fool = Lose weight. So I said yes. Now, I would like to clarify something - to those people who used to laugh at me for not being the most technically gifted player... ... well, you're right. No counter argument there. But I used to be a pretty good runner which was my greatest asset as a player. Take for eg, last time in the armour team, I could run 80 mins non stop, up and down the field, up and down the field. Tonight, I ran 80 secs non stop, up and down the court, up and.... that's about it. 80 secs up.

Last time I could score goals for fun, nipping in behind tired defenders. Tonight, I also managed to score 2 goals. Own goals.

Basket, you guys believed that didn't you? You idiots tend to believe everything bad about me. Nah. I scored two goals - the first, a scorching volley from 30 metres out and the second, a tap in from 3 cm out. and both were the result, not of determined running, but my tiredness. This is how it works, you're panting, don't wanna run no more, so you just shoot from all angles. If it goes in, all good and well. If it doesn't... well.

Almost got into a fight on the pitch. There was this speedy little gonzalez on the opposing team whose fave activity was to run straight at me before zipping by me with the ball, leaving me looking like a bloody fool. So there was this one time, he was zipping along, i was snoozing as usual and i did what any star player would do - i tripped him. He got straight up and came face to face with me. He's the typical kopitiam beng with the barb wire tattoo on his bicep, the barcode tattoo on his neck and a huge cheena dragon on his back. I couldn't let myself be outdone, so i rolled up my sleeve and showed him my thoroughly impressive tattoo on my flacid bicep. It worked and he backed off.

I wish I did. I apologised. sigh. Oh well, at least its a start to the diet.